Rules of the Pool Continued...

My brother, Lane, has been a lifeguard for the entire summer, and he read my blog tonight about guarding last summer. He has a few adjustments.

#1 C-section scars are not cute.

#2 I've seen more fake boobs this summer than I've seen real ones.

#3 Stop doing gainers off the boards. They don't make you look cool. You look like a doucher.

#4 Stupid gingers.

#5 Work is better when your boss is black.

#6 Why are there always condom commercials on the radio?

#7 No you can't wear your shirt on the diving boards.

#8 Stop helping your 10 year olds across the lilly pads. They can do it themselves.

#9 Jesus Juice is amazing.

#10 Nothing's better than a train down the toilet bowl.

#11 Don't ask me to work for you the day of. I wont. I probably wouldn't work for you anyways.

#12 If you're bigger than a size 10, wear a one piece, and if you're a man: wear a shirt---unless your muscular (no homo).

#13 Stop hitting on the lifeguards. We don't want to date your 80 year old ass.

#14 Smart ass parents can shove it.

#15 Pay me MINIMUM WAGE! This $6.50 crap is bullshit. Seriously.

Yeah. He has anger issues :).